I'll Take These Guys

Thursday, July 30th

Kabul, Afghanistan

As the only woman on my project team I had sort of expected, perhaps delusionally, that my colleagues might be looking out for me here. I sort of imagined a kind of chivalry from them. They are an extremely nice bunch. But whenever we have a meeting in downtown Kabul my Brooks Brothers suit-clad colleagues dash out of the jeep faster than you can count to three. They form a sort of impenetrable clump while scurrying into the building - leaving me out on the street struggling with my head covering and holding all the documents. The Afghan bodyguards are also usually scratching their heads when they see the blur of gabardine dash away from the jeep. I mean how weird is this? Here we are rolling out programs to empower Afghan women, provide healthcare to Afghan women ... and basically inferring that most Afghan men are animals. And here I am shoved in the back seat of a jeep with my bodyguard while all my male colleagues ignore me. I imagine they are probably nervous - trying to act like this entire life of machine guns, bodyguards & burkas is somehow normal. My Afghan guard, Zia treats me like a friend and a lady. So when the colleagues flee the jeep I always have Zia. But still, it's weird.

Today we are on high alert for suicide bombers. Our compound Security Manager, Mike is a drunk. He sent me a cryptic email saying I should be on high alert for a " Female BBIED". Huh?? What on earth is that? Babe-in-a-Burka? He refused to tell me. Mike just snarls at me or sits like a totem pole when I ask him anything. On my last day here I intend to call him a jack-ass. But for now I need to figure out how to survive this fool. Mercifully I also have a new detail of ISAF (International Special Forces) and a friend in Washington D.C. who calmly explained BBIED means body born improvised explosive devise. Lovely.

Well at least I have a clear explanation. These three ISAF guys: Steve, Mack & Mike are very nice and very big. Huge in fact. But despite their hulking physique - they are absolute gentlemen. They treat me and Zia with respect. God only knows what they think of our security manager.

Meanwhile the Brooks Brothers brigade is figuring out how to go to the mens'-only golf course in Kabul tomorrow. Mike the security manager made up some bullshit briefing about how the western part of the city was off limits - except the Kabul golf course - and ordered me to stay on the compound and cook. If you hear of an American casualty from a frying pan to the head injury don't be surprised.

I remain impressed and humbled with how the U.S. troops are always so professional and respectful. If the Beltway Bandits had a fraction of the professional commitment of the U.S. military we'd be making headway. I personally think most Afghan men are nice. I think they like to see officers and gentlemen. But then again, it's late on Thursday night and I'm pooped and I have to figure out what to cook. Pigs- In- A- Blanket I think.